I want to talk about something serious in this post; why being aware when we are enjoying fiction is really important for our well-being. Because last month, I found a post on Reddit, a user shared their feelings about Thai GL series that makes them hate themselves, for not looking as pretty as the main actresses in the fictional series that they enjoys. Many users replied to their post, saying, “don’t compare” but we all know it’s easier said than done.
If you feel the same way like the Reddit user who shared their thoughts about themselves after consuming too many fiction in any shape of form, then this post might give you a useful insight—I hope.
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When The Problem Starts to Arise
Disclaimer first, I don’t know who they are in real life, so I could only understand their position as far as what they disclosed in their post.
The Reddit User said that they’ve been watching a lot of Thai GL series lately, but they are feeling unrepresented. The main characters of the series always look stunning, they have flat stomach, charismatic and appealing visuals. That made them irked themselves when they see themselves in the mirror. They wonder if they will only find a dreamy partner if they have such appearance. They wonder if the hearth-throbbing stories they enjoy would only happen to beautiful people and not themselves.
Why It’s Important to be Aware of the Media that We are Consuming?
People who said, “don’t compare” to the Reddit User post are missing a lot of points. Because in this case, it’s not only about comparison, but also about awareness that what we are watching is a fiction, a product of entertainment, meant to help us escape the reality—it’s fantasy, it’s meant to entertain, it’s meant to help us ESCAPE the murky reality that we live in.
Besides, it’s in our nature to compare ourselves to others. Especially, if the media we consume is dominated by something like this—visually appealing, attractive looking characters, too-good-to-be-true stories—after all, we are what we consume. So, if you’re not aware of what you’re consuming, that’s where many kinds of problems might arise from within.
This is not only occurring in GL series but also heterosexual romance movies, just look at romantic comedy for example. They all played by beautiful actress and handsome actors. Even though Thai GL series depicts woman loving another woman, it uses the same recipe. They casts beautiful actresses as the main characters to captivate viewers and they uses too-good-to-be-true storylines to keep us hooked and engage—imagining another possibilities of our lives, if you understand what I mean?
We might remember an old movie called, PRETTY WOMAN, that tells a story about a young prostitute marrying a wealthy man from a reputable background. This is too good to be true. In reality, such relationship would not work very well. I can go on to elaborate about what’s going to happen if that storyline happens in reality but I could write a whole novel about it here, so I’ll just stop here and let you think about it.
We might also heard about a famous romantic comedy called, NOTTING HILL, a story about a fine young man, played by Hugh Grant, falling in love with a beautiful young actress, played by Julia Roberts, and they ended up together in the end of the story. Isn’t that also a fantasy?
The Effects of Heterosexual Romantic Genre in Society Today
It’s normal to want to look good, to be healthy, etc. But it’s NOT normal to obsess over looks and how whether or not we look attractive to others or not.
I’m not surprised if someone might feel the same way as the Reddit User who shared their story. Do you even know what’s the effect of heterosexual romantic genre medias in our society today?
We also naturally attracted to beauty, naturally wanting something that is not always possible or work in reality. It’s okay to want it, but it’s not okay to obsess over it.
I will help you answer that. Many women obsess over their looks, whether they are thin enough or whether they have big breast or having sexual appeal. Many women are insecure about their looks, and many women feel insecure about themselves. There are many studies out there that you can search for yourself because I don’t have time for it.
Not only for women, many young men now are in crisis, especially in their financial aspect. They feel like they are not rich or successful—materialistically speaking—they are not desirable by women. Men also feel like they have to abide to a certain beauty standard to be attractive. Some men also having difficulties to see women for more than just their appearance. This is happening now, and you can see it everywhere.
Does that sounds familiar to you? Can you relate?
So yeah, it’s about the same, whether you watch too much GL series or heterosexual romance movies, the media have its way of selling their products. And if you are not aware while consuming the media, you will have so many unnecessary self-esteem problems.
Know When It’s Time to Take Some Distance
When watching GL series makes you feel like the Reddit User who shared their story, perhaps it is time to take some distance, draw a boundary.
Fiction is fiction. It’s not reality. If the movies or series you like is being made too close to reality, would you like it just the same? Would you want to watch it until the end? No, right. You want them to be pretty, you want the story to be interesting.
Yes, there can be some reality or wisdom embedded in a fictional story, but that doesn’t make it real. Fiction is still fiction. Some fiction are meant to entertain, some fiction are meant to sell ideas, I don’t know, you name it. After all storytelling is impactful in that way. That’s why we have to be fully aware that we are consuming a form of entertainment and escapism so we don’t relate it our reality.
When we start to let it to get into our head, maybe it’s a good sign to take some distance. Distance is always good. Try to look for another form of entertainment you might enjoy. Maybe try something new, something like art movie—movies who are made for movies sake—I don’t know, just take some distance away from it.
It’s also good if watching beautiful GL actresses makes you want to look good. makes you want to go to the gym and get healthy, that’s a good way to motivate yourself going to positive direction. As long as it doesn’t come from obsession, JUST DO IT.
It’s alright to be healthy, it’s good to have a healthy lifestyle. So yeah, perhaps you could turn it into a motivation to loose some weight. As my cousin would say, “it’s good that you want to be healthy, but it’s not good if you just want to be sexually appealing.”
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